Thursday, February 15, 2018

Class of Brazil - 4th Lesson: I am what I am...

...and what I am needs no excuses - the beginning of Gloria Gaynor's evergreen is the perfect intro to this post, which deals with my perspective on the Carnival in Rio, an extremely gay event - gay in every sense of the word.

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
Bar on the Copacabana beach

Brazilian carnival is world famous, on many travellers' bucket lists, so you probably have to be a major grouch not to have a great time and enjoy yourself like crazy.

However, I don't like the carnival.

You might think I'm just a pathetic loser with no sense of humor whatsoever.
But that's not true, you can ask anybody who has known me for five minutes that I am great fun and ready to say the darndest things. I'm just not the dropping pants-falling water buckets-smashing cream cake-red nose-funny hat-kind of humorous.

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
Party crowd at the otherwise rather idyllic Largo dos GuimarΓ£es in the Santa Teresa district.

And I detest crowds. Even if I would participate in a freedom march, I'd prefer to march by myself than in a crowd. But especially vinous party crowds give me the creeps.

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
This pretty lady - a street vendor in Belo Horizonte - came closest to the image I had of the carnival in Brazil.

I do like the carnival-ladies in the micro sequin bikinis shaking there not so micro behinds. I like the drummers drumming with vigor. But this takes place only at the Sambadrome where the Samba schools compete.
The real carnival is a bender at every corner in the city.
I'm actually not that crazy about ridiculously accessorized drunks. Nowhere in the world.

There is carnival in Germany, too. Fortunately it's outsourced to the Rhine-Main-area so you can give it a wide berth. Surprisingly the German carnival is pretty much the same thing like the one in Rio: Hordes of disguised drunks are stumbling and staggering through the streets, their make up slowly dissolving, bumping into each other, blocking roads. Since in Germany it's cold at carnival season, they mostly cover up (big thumb up!). In Rio it's 32 degrees Celsius (90 Fahrenheit) at 9 p. m., so people walk around basically naked.
It's only February and I've had my share of bare chests for the rest of the year.

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
Bare chests - unadorned version...

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
....bare chests - glittering version.

The latino macho's favorite costume is a skirt. Skirts seem to be the most hilarious - or maybe coolest - thing a man can wear. I wonder whether the Scots are aware of that.

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
Individual tutu....

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
....group tutu - and of course bare chests.

You might think at least the music is rhythmic and latino and hot so you cannot stand still.
Well, it's not, take it from me.
Some tacky techno-merengue-mix-songs are blaring from boom boxes and the crowds are blaring along. My Portuguese is sufficient to understand that some of the lyrics must be quite X-rated.
Makes me wonder what ever happened to Barry Manilow's Lola, the showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair.

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
Nope, no yellow feathers.

The worst thing is that as people drink a lot, nature calls; and as soon as they hear it calling, they open the door naked; metaphorically and unfortunately literally.
The sharp stench of ammonia is everywhere; sometimes mixed with the stink of vomit.

Carnival in Rio de Janeiro: bye:myself - Renata Green - byemyselftravels
#CoisaBOA is a campaign by Antarctica beer dealing in a fun way with different issues that might occur during the carnival. Here it says that it's a good thing (= coisa boa) to make xixi - I presume that you don't need a translation for this one... - only in a bathroom. The bad thing (which for the record would be coisa ruim) is that obviously not many people took notice of this billboard.

This makes me think of another song, the first big success of one of the earliest hip hop bands, namely Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five: "....people pissing on the stairs, you know they just don't care" (from "The Message")

Furious Five - that sounds pleasantly grumpy. I think I would spend a great carnival in the company of the Furious Five: We would drink just a bit, maybe get a hit or two from a spliff and roll our eyes on all these self-proclaimed clowns.
We would use the mobile toilets that are everywhere at people's disposal - and I bet the Furious Five would keep their shirts on.

Wanna know what happened before? Here are the previous lessons:


Class of Brazil - 1st Lesson: We Have it Good

Class of Brazil - 2nd Lesson: Danger Seems Closer from Afar

Class of Brazil - 3rd Lesson: It is a Hellish Path to a Heavenly Place


Note to the curious reader: Like I did during my former trips like e. g. Cambodia, while travelling, I'll be posting little stories and reflections on my stay. At the end of the entire tour there will be an extended travel guide with all the relevant information including addresses, links etc. 
Until then, just enjoy some special moments with me.


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19 comments:

  1. Interesting post. Thanks for sharing your experience. This is definitely not the view I think of when I think of carnival in Brazil. They make it seem so glamorous on T.V.

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    1. Yes, those are the parades taking place at the Sambadrome. I thought I would see that in the streets, too, but what I saw was faaar different 🀒

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  2. Sounds like Carnival is a bit more intense than I realized. Its good to learn that the fun music is at the Sambadrome, I'll have to tuck that info away for my trip to this crazy festival in Brazil.

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    1. I guess the parades at the Sambadrome are pretty and fun. I didn't go because I wasn't in Rio at weekends - too bad. But since I did other great things instead...

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  3. i totally understand, crowds can be intense at times. And it sounds like this Carnival is way more intense than i thought!

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  4. A shame that you didn't have a great Carnival experience. I've not been myself - but wouldn't mind the glittery bare chests. :) Overt public drunkenness and large crowds are also not fun for me and my partner. Much prefer to hear the music and soak up the vibes from a high balcony above all the riff raff.

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    1. The music they play in the streets is also terrible: Lily the pink-style! And people sing along and dance group dance Macarena-style. It's like kiddy-club at an all inclusive resort. So all it has for you are the glittering chests....πŸŽ†

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  5. Loved reading your experience. Carnivals are not usually my thing but would still love to check out a south american one. I do love music so who knows...might like it.

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    1. I am happy for everyone who has a great time. I just realized that it's definitely not for me. The music is terrible, too: Do not think of Samba, Merengue etc. It's very simple, stumpy bacchanalian songs which people can sing along while doing little party dances.πŸ™‰πŸ™‰πŸ™‰

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  6. So different than the pics you getting to see in TV, i thought it would be much more glorious :( Thanks for sharing your experience...

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    1. Oh my God, Martina, "glorious" is the very last term that comes to mind 🀣

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  7. Sorry to hear you never enjoyed your experience. Everybody thinks travelling is glorious but in reality we do find ourselves in situations or places that are just not for us. Personally I don't think i would have enjoyed that very much but onto the next thing. safe travels

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  8. It was actually not really bad - I was just disappointed resp. surprised that I didn't enjoy it. Not everything is for everybody. Everything else of my trip is fine, so....no worries.

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  9. Based on the tone throughout your post this is not the party for you! You've definitely highlighted the not so pretty parts to such an event. Shelby and I have been to many shows, raves, and festivals with large crowds under the influence. As we get older we notice it's not as easy to be a part of these crowds. hah

    Kudos to you for checking it out and reporting the side that probably gets overlooked by most writing on the Carnival.

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    1. Thanx, Nathan. Yap, I only wanted to point out how I see it and why it is not my kind of fun. I am well aware that many, many people would disagree; which is fine: I am what I am.... πŸ˜†

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  10. I've always wanted to go to the carnival, it seemed so fun. But....now that I'm older and don't drink like before, I'm not sure I'd enjoy it. It's the reason I've never gone to Cancun during Spring Break, to avoid crowds and drunks. Still, maybe I'd enjoy it for a day just to get a feel of the craziness and then leave. :) Too bad you didn't enjoy it, but hopefully the rest of your trip was great.

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    1. Yap, Edith, that's what it is like: Cancun during Spring Break. The rest of my trip was so wonderful that I really don't care much. I just wanted to share that it is not pretty ladies in sequin bikinis as everybody - myself included - thinks.

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  11. I don't know much about Carnival in any way, but you've definitely highlighted why it might not be for some people - and I think that is fine. Travelling is about staying true to ourselves and whilst we can try new experiences we don't have to love every one!

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    1. Thank you, Sam, that's exactly what I wanted to say - to myself, too πŸ˜‰

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